Let's get one thing straight... I'm not
by Fate's Child
Summary: Michiru's story about growing up, finding out she's a lesbian, her mother's death and disowning her Father. Then, how she meets Haruka and how they come to live together. *redone* if you want another ch. let me know.


A.N. I have changed this a lot. But I've made it more… Michiru, I think, and more in depth, definitely. So let me know what you thought of it!! ^________^ read on people  
  
Let's get one thing Straight…I'm not.  
  
Written by: Fate's Child (Terraline Ash-ri Ran Brooks)  
  
  
  
One of the biggest conflicts in the world today is homosexuality. Day by day, in some places, it is becoming more and more accepted. Stereotypes are still present, but you tend to see more TV shows, movies etc involving people that are *gasp* gay. But none the less, in most places, in most teenagers, you will hear the ever-present insults. "You are such a faggot." "Fairy." "That is so GAY!" And the Goddess forbid if anyone finds out that someone actually is gay or a lesbian. "Do you see her? She goes for girls. What a freak." Thus the term emerged 'in the closet'. Well the closet is getting pretty damn crowded, don't you think?  
  
Even religions look down on homosexuality. Some say that it is sick and wrong. Others, like Christianity, say that they are trying to accept those in their church that are homosexuals. Applause, applause. But they won't let them be an ACTIVE member. Others kick those of different sexual nature out completely claiming that their bible or sacred written work says that they cannot be of their religion if they are, what is deemed, "unnatural". May I remind everyone that the bible and other written works are MAN'S interpretation of GOD'S word? And isn't there a message to love all in there?  
  
Sexuality was never a big issue in my home. Wait, I stand corrected. In my mother's home. My father was a justified homophobic no matter how he said differently. I think it was because he was gay but was taught it was wrong… but that's another story. So I remained pretty innocent in terms of knowing or not knowing about sex and exactly what it entailed for a long time. But there came a time when I-like every other child-wanted to know what "doing it" was. From then on, it was never a really sore or embarrassing point for my mother to tell me exactly what sex was. And if it was beyond her scope, she sent me to her friend who was an OBGYN. Not much they don't know about sex. I'm not saying it was something we talked about all the time, but if someone had a question, then someone would answer.  
  
The topic of homosexuality never really became an issue until I was around thirteen. By then I knew exactly what it was-and had for a few years before-but I was raised by my mother to love EVERYONE because of who they were, not because of what they looked like or acted like, or what their sexuality was. But by when I was thirteen, I caught on fully to the sly, nasty remarks my classmates were throwing and occasionally, the ones my father threw. It became the center of more and more arguments when I went to visit. And I became cemented on my point of view. It was alright to be gay, lesbian or bisexual. It was not sick and gross. Of course, most of my friend's parents didn't feel this way either. Which is why I sometimes learned to just say "I disagree" and leave it at that. Then one of my best friends told me that she was bisexual. And I knew I was right. Because everyone loved her, everyone thought she was great. Why should they change their minds because she was bi? But I saw the friends she lost, and the way that some would talk about her and I learned a little bit more about how cruel the world and the people in it could be.  
  
When I was almost fourteen, I had my first boyfriend. And I think a lot of people were relieved. Because of the strong point I had taken, they thought I was a lesbian. Ding, ding, ding! Give them a prize! When I broke up with him, eight months later, it was because I was starting to notice how sexy girls were. I kept my mouth shut, only sharing these thoughts with my bi friend-who only hugged me and said "welcome to the club". And I realized again, it was okay. Because I was a good girl, I was smart, I was raised right, I was a good person. And I was still a lesbian. So it was okay.  
  
Not many people knew for a long time. The world, I had learned, was not very accepting. If you have enough power-or fame, in my case-it will not be said to your face that you are a freak. But it will be said behind your back, by people who you thought were your friends. And it hurts ten times worse. Being a lesbian is part of who I am, a big part, and it was hard hiding it from the world. How could I survive not being completely who I was? But I did it, day after day. I guess it's a bit ironic. I hated the masks and hypocrites that surrounded me, yet I wore a mask. However, I never lied. If someone asked, I didn't lie.  
  
So I lived, day after day, with few to comfort and support me. I had two girlfriends, both who were as closeted as I was, and I found that it didn't last because we had to hide so much. My mother was perhaps the greatest comfort through all of this. And even though I hid, I felt, for the first time in a long time, that I was complete. And it was so… liberating. Then, on the worst day of my life, I got a phone call telling me that my mother died. My mother, my rock, my support, the only person I loved with everything I had, died. And I had only just turned fifteen, so I was told to pack my bags and move across town to live with my father and his new wife-whom I had never met. I stopped seeing him about four months earlier and he had gotten remarried in that time. This was when I learned what hell was.  
  
I was taken away from my friends and anyone that supported me and was forced into a hiding so deep I felt as if I was cloaked in some dream. I learned how to become meek and quiet, how to accept what was being thrown at me from both my father and his new wife. I threw myself into my performing, my only escape. I spent many nights crying over my losses, but soon became hardened to my new life. I was a shell, a walking robot. Until I made my first friend. She introduced me to her. She introduced me to my destiny.  
  
I was taking a walk one night; away from the hell I lived in, when I heard a scream. I ran in the direction, only to be stopped by a woman in an indecently short skirt who was holding a staff with a key on the bottom. She told me that helping people was to become my destiny. That she missed me, that I was loved. She then held out a glowing sea green pen, one that pulled me in. When I grabbed that pen, I new peace. And when I transformed for the first time as Michiru Kaiou, not was Princess Neptune, I knew complete happiness.  
  
So I saved that woman from a heart snatcher and went on to fight other battles. I would come home bruised, tired, and sometimes bloody but would just smirk at my father when he asked what I had been doing. I learned to tell him it was none of his damn business. I was stronger because I had a purpose. But one night, he pushed me to far.  
  
I had been out fighting a particularly difficult snatcher and was exhausted when I came home. Which was why I was not interested in being ambushed by my father and my stepmother. They told me that they'd had enough of me being "lose" and sleeping with a bunch of guys before coming home. My stepmother sneered and told me that she'd heard that some people liked it rough but the way I took to being beaten was sick. My father simply nodded before saying that he would not have a slut for a daughter. My laughter started out slow, coming from deep within me. I was out saving the world and they were accusing me of S&M. He slapped me and demanded to know what was funny. I punched him back before standing proudly at the entrance to the living room. I believe I remember my exact words.  
  
"I am not a slut. In fact, I'm still a virgin. Unless of course you count the fact that I slept with my first girlfriend." I ignored their shocked faces. "It is none of your business what I have been out doing. I am no longer your daughter." And I walked up the stairs, grabbed the stuff that meant the most to me, the things I had left from my mother, threw them all into my space pocket and picked up one bag of clothes and my violin case. I looked around the room one last time, I had stripped it of everything that they hadn't given me. And I walked out the house forever. Actually, I jumped out the window, but…  
  
I stayed in a hotel for the next few weeks. I had plenty of money because of my performances and continued to give them. But it was a week after I'd left that I first met Haruka. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the other senshi that would fight with me. And I knew because of that, this Haruka Ten'ou was a girl. As I watched her from the stands, though, I had a minute of panic, wondering if I had been wrong all this time about being a lesbian because there was instant attraction. And the first time I met her, she blew me off. But I followed her, telling her of destiny. Until one day, I backed off. It was that day that she accepted she was Sailor Uranus. And we started to date. I would go back to the hotel every night, thanking the Goddess that I had found her, and that I was happy despite not having some place to live. Until the night she followed me to what she thought was my home. I still remember that night too.  
  
***  
  
A knock sounded on the hotel room door. I sighed and slipped on a robe before going to the peephole. My eyes widened as I saw Haruka standing on the other side, a confused expression on her face. I opened the door slowly, trying to look as if everything was normal.  
  
"Miss me already?" I asked with what I hoped was a playful expression on my face. She frowned.  
  
"Why are you in a hotel? The manager said you'd been here almost three weeks." She walked into the room and I closed the door behind me.  
  
"I left my home."  
  
"Because you were a senshi?" We'd never delved into each other's pasts before, it was too early, we'd felt.  
  
"No. Because my father and stepmother hate me. Oh, and because I'm a lesbian." Her eyes widened.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Haruka, I'm looking for an apartment right now, but… I just haven't had time with school, performances and saving the world. Though that has gotten easier since you came along." I smiled. "Don't worry about me."  
  
"I care about you, a lot, Michiru. So much it scares me sometimes. That was why I pushed you away at first. But it's not just because of what we had in the past. I…" she took a deep breath. "I have an extra room in my flat. I live alone too, so if you wanted to move in…" Haruka looked up at me with the question in her eyes. I held back a smile.  
  
"I care about you too. A lot." Now I did smile. "So I guess I would like to move in with you, Ten'ou Haruka. If you can deal with the fact that I'm not a morning person."  
  
"If you can deal with the fact that I am." Haruka smiled. I put my arms around her and smiled lazily.  
  
"Does this mean I get to see you with your shirt off?" Ignoring the stunned look on her face, I leaned down and kissed her.  
  
***  
  
Ah. Love. I am in love with Haruka, with her present and past self. We were brought together by destiny and found love. And I am who I am completely now. It has been a few years and Haruaka and I live with our family Setsuna and our adopted daughter Hotaru. And I am happy. I found a gorgeous, sexy, funny woman who for some unfathomable reason loves me and I love her back. So now I am finally able to say "YES! I am NOT straight! And I'm HAPPY, DAMN IT!" I only hope that one day, the rest of the world, and the people in it, will find the courage I did.  
  
My name is Kaiou Michiru. I am a famous violinist, a lesbian and a sailor senshi. And I am happy.  
  
END  
  
Send all e-mails to Prncss_Earth@hotmail.com And please, please review. Oh! And let me know if you are interested in one of the following:  
  
Haruka's past family problems and coming to terms with the fact she is a lesbian  
  
Michiru and Haruka meeting up with their families again 


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